Dear college graduate,
Congratulations, college graduate!
First and foremost, dear friend, congratulations are in order. I know the last few years have been more difficult than you ever imagined. Young adulthood is, in many ways, like being thrown into the swirling, stormy ocean with nothing more than a tiny floatie that you have to air up on your own. In the middle of the ocean. At night. While surrounded by sharks, treading water, and somehow also calling your doctor to make an appointment for when you make it back to shore.
So, yeah, good job on also managing to get a college degree. Seriously, you are a stellar human being.
It’s really easy to minimize the difficulty of the last few years with a simple, “Yeah, but lots of people graduate from college. I’m not special.” But I won’t let you do that, because I’ve walked this road beside you, and I know how many times college has attempted to destroy your spirit. Sometimes it was the coursework, and other times it was relationships, your bank account, or grief of losing a loved one. There were plenty of times you could have given up. Classes you could have skipped but didn’t. Shifts at work you could have refused to take. Relationships you could have chosen not to build because you were afraid. But all along the way, you kept going. You showed up (usually). You fought to get where you are. And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.
I hope you know…
Now that you have conquered college, the world is about to open up for you in magnificent ways. Yes, college has been an adventure and a whole new world of freedoms previously unexplored. But the “real world” is even bigger and includes even more opportunities to live the life you have always imagined. Along the way in this new chapter, there are a few things I hope you will hold close to your heart.
The next steps don’t have to be set in stone
The narrative sold to college students is simple: you come to college, get a degree, and immediately find a job after graduation that pays well, includes benefits, and will allow your weekends to be spent mountain climbing or drinking mimosas with the girls.
The reality: for many people, post-grad life comes to a head-jarring halt at the job hunting phase. It isn’t even that your job might not pay well or include benefits. Rather, for a lot of grads, the first few days, weeks, or months post-grad are spent wandering aimlessly with the realization that they have not been prepared for a job in the field in which they earned a degree, or even that their degree in some ways makes them less desirable than high school graduates. Sometimes, post-grad life looks more angsty than high school. Entry-level jobs ask for five years of experience, master’s degrees, or pay just enough for monthly student loan bills…but not enough for you to feed yourself or live alone.
Post-grad life is scary. Everyone has expectations, hopes, and dreams that they are made to believe will be theirs the moment they walk across the stage to accept their diplomas. This, however, could not be further from the truth. Your five-year plan? Throw it out the window. It will only lead to heartache. Instead, take one step at a time and allow yourself to simply live and live simply, free of the pressure to fit the mold you were sold at enrollment.
It’s okay to “fail” by the world’s standards
Maybe you’re questioning if you majored in the right field, you’ve realized you weren’t meant for graduate school, or that you don’t want to spend the next 40 years teaching kindergarten. Maybe you followed the path your family pushed you toward, and now your heart aches at the idea of continuing. Perhaps you even regret every step you’ve taken in the last few years (though I hope dearly that isn’t the case).
I hope you know that your life doesn’t have to look like the brochures. You were sold a lie that college is the answer to life. It’s okay to wrestle with the pain, confusion, and heartbreak of leaving college behind. It’s okay to change your mind, reconsider, or fall apart for a while. You aren’t alone in the process; that much I can guarantee.
Present culture would have us believe that success means having it all together at 22. Some subcultures would have us believe that means having a spouse and a house by the end of college. Others would have us believe that means having a job to which you sell your time and spirit. But I hope you haven’t fallen for the trap. I hope you know that success isn’t your level of productivity or your relationship status.
It’s okay to fail by the world’s standards because those standards are nothing more than lies about human nature, design, and purpose. You were not made for your job, your paycheck, or your material possessions. You were made to be in community with others, sharing your gifts, skills, and talents with the world from a place of holistic wellness. Anyone or anything that tells you differently is not for you. Walk away, even if it means being perceived as a failure.
You are not a product
Your job does not own you, and you do not belong to your boss. Your worth is not in corporate climbing or accolades. You are not your personal brand. My friend, you are not for sale, consumption, or trade. You are not a product on the market to be bid on, shuffled around, or made into a bargaining chip.
Rather, you are a human being with a beating heart and a brain filled with ideas, knowledge, and passions. You are flesh and blood with a spirit that cannot be tangibly grasped and cannot be reduced to a paycheck or a list of accomplishments. Humans have been selling other humans for as long as history has been told, and once you place a price tag on someone, it takes far more than just cutting the string to repair the damage.
I hope you will refuse to fall into the trap of turning yourself into a product. Hold onto your humanity, and uphold the humanity of your friends, too. Resist the rat race. Resist the lie that your worth and identity are found in your work, bank account, and accumulation of material things.
You are not for sale, and I hope you never will be.
Thank you
My friend, I love you. From the deepest part of my heart, I thank you for the beautiful story we are taking part in together. Thank you for your friendship, love, and compassion. I am so excited about the future that is before you. The world may be big and scary, but I know that your heart is powerful and your will is strong. You are exactly what the world needs. I hope you know how fully you are loved and how important you are to me and to this world.
Don’t compromise yourself. Own your life, and live it with joy from the deep well of peace and knowledge that you are not your job, your paycheck, or a product for sale.
You are going to do so well, even if the road is bumpy.
With love,
Me.
Before you go
I hope this letter spoke to you, college grad! If so, please share it with your fellow graduates. As a December 2018 grad, I’ve had the chance to walk through post-college life for the last few years, and I hope I will continue to remind myself of these words as time passes.
For more inspiration, check out my post about refusing to hate my life or discover how reading 50 books in a year changed my life! You can also follow me on Twitter or Instagram!
What advice do you have for young adults/college grads? Leave it in a comment below and let’s chat!
Wishing you all the best,
Nikki
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