The opposite of supreme

This world is afflicted. Deep within my spirit, I can feel the stirring. The breaking. The shame.

The weight of others’ evil weighs on my shoulders, in my heart.

I detest the evil taking place in this country, in this world.

Supremacy. A word I think we all hoped died long ago. That is, except for those who have tattooed it on their souls. What a heavy yoke they carry.

This shame I feel simply for sharing existence with such evil.

How much more ashamed my Jesus must have felt on the cross.

“I have done nothing,” he must have thought when he took my shame.

“I have done nothing,” I think now as I feel this shame.

Except the intonation is different. For my Jesus, the phrase is exasperation, heartache. Innocence being condemned. For me, the phrase is my shame speaking. Guilt masquerading as innocence.

I have done nothing. Nothing to deserve the privilege this world has afforded me. Nothing to deserve the privilege to say “I don’t want to think about Charlottesville or the news today.” Nothing to deserve freedom or redemption. I have done nothing. I have not marched or spoken out to stop the hate.

Jesus did nothing wrong. Instead, he took all of my wrongness. He took the splinters of my soul and dug them into his flesh. He swallowed down my shame. He bore my nothingness.

He took yours, too.

He is not white. He is not American. He is not a political tool. But He is supreme.

The only one of us.

I am less than that. So much less. I am the opposite of supreme.

White supremacy is evil.

Evil.

The work of Satan.

“I have done nothing,” Jesus proclaims. Inward innocence taking on outward shame.

“I have done nothing,” I ache. Inward shame appearing as outside innocence.

“It is finished,” Jesus says.

“It is finished,” I say. It is finished within me. No shame because he has taken it. No shame because this is my statement. This is my something. It is very little. But it is a start.

Oh supremacists, you will not win.

You are dripping in evil. Your soul is heavy. I can feel it for you. Your chains are hurting far more than just yourselves.

You need Jesus.

I need Jesus.

We all need Jesus.

Because Jesus, my dear sinners and saints, is the only Supreme one among us.

And he is calling us all home.

He. Is. Supreme.

I. Am. The. Opposite.